Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Shower of Poetry

Its been long since the hour
I had time for a shower
Now I know why the French wear perfume

I can only hold hope
And pretend to not mope
That when I do enter a room

No one should wrinkle
Or be caused to crinkle
One single facial muscle

Their sensitive sniffer
Should be free of a whiffer

Of Mama.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Do you Wanna Be a Triplet?

(To the tune of “Do you Wanna Build a Snowman?”

Toddler Anna: Elsa? (knocks)                    Triplet: Neighbor? (knocks)      
Do you want to build a snowman?            Do you want to be a triplet? (KNOCK AT A FRIEND’S)
Come on let's go and play                           Come on let’s go and play
I never see you anymore                             I have so many siblings here
Come out the door,                                      My mother cannot hear
It's like you've gone away                           I’d like to go away
We used to be best buddies                       Mostly we’re best buddies
And now we're not                                       But then we’re not
I wish you would tell me why                    I wish I could tell you why?
Do you want to build a snowman?           Do you want to be a triplet?
It doesn't have to be a Snowman              Come on you can admit it

Young Elsa: Go away, Anna                       But I’m an only child
Toddler Anna: Okay, bye                            Okay, sigh

Young Anna: (knocks on Elsa's                Triplet: (knocks on bedroom           door)                                                               door)   
Do you want to build a snowman             Do you want to be a triplet?
Or ride our bike around the halls?           We’ll ride our bikes around the                                                                              block,
I think some company is overdue            It’s so nice to always have a friend
I've started talking to                                  Although we often blend
The pictures on the walls                                        
(Hang in there, Joan! )                              Triplet #1: Hang in there bro
                                                                        Triplet #2: Hang in there sis
                                                                        Triplet #3: Hang in there bro

It gets a little lonely,                                   It never gets the least bit lonely
All these empty rooms,                              Not an empty room
Just watching the hours tick by               To listen to clocks tick by
(Tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock)  (NOISE, SCREAMING, CRYING,                                                                            YELLING)

Anna: (knocks) Elsa?                                   Friends
Please I know you're in there,                    We know you’re out there
People are asking where you've been,      People wonder what it’s like
They say "have courage”;                            They say “Are you identical?"
And I'm trying to,                                         And “Are you natural?"
I'm right out here for you                           We’re right in front of you
Just let me in                                                 Where have you been?
We only have each other                             We always have each other
It's just you and me                                      Just you and me, and me, and me
What are we gonna do?                               What are we gonna do?              
                                                                          (MISCHIEF OF ALL KINDS)

Do you want to build a snowman?            Do you want to be a triplet?
(sniff)                                                               (sniff) 

Monday, April 27, 2015

Things that are bad for you

What are some things that are bad for you?

This feels like a Family Feud question. So here into, running up to the podium and slapping that big fat red buzzer. Alarm clocks! Do we see alarm clocks? Why yes we do. Woot. I just bought my team some time.

It's a good thing too. Because they're bad for you. Why? Because people need sleep. I know I do. I have a variety of reasons for insomnia, and when it hits it hits hard. I am a night owl by nature, so when I try to sleep early I wake up at waaaay the wrong time of night and can't get back to sleep. Or, I stay up late hoping I can tire myself out but good, and as soon as I lie down - ha ha, joke's on me. My brain starts up, keeps going, flat out refuses to shut down. There are nights I am awake all night. Or at least until about 530am - right when the kids start waking up.

No way do I need an alarm clock. I just need to sleep when my body lets me. Because that's realistic with kids. How is it that they wake up at such early times? I just know that once they become teenagers they won't want to budge. I can't relate. I've ALWAYS been this way. But my kids will probably change. Just to spite me. But they'll be in for a surprise when they get alarm clocks for Christmas.

Yes indeed. Alarm clocks are bad for you.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Listen to Your Mother! #LTYMOC

I am honored to say that I have been selected to read at the 2015 production of Listen To Your Mother (Orange County)!!

If you are available this weekend, come see me read!

Created by Ann Imig (Ann’s Rants), Listen to Your Mother began in 2010 and is now produced in 39 cities nationwide! LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER offers an opportunity for 12 people to share their voice from a moment in their journey through parenthood.
Not only is this a chance to go with each reader as they portray motherhood through their journey, but LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER gives back to the community by supporting those in need. This production will be supporting the WISE Place in Santa Ana.  

Come see this. You will love it! #LTYMOC


Wednesday, December 24, 2014

The Grand Finale!

Every day my kids talk about their 'show' they will perform at the house. Each time something funny happens or someone says something that makes them laugh, they decide whether or not that will become part of their 'Grand Finale'.

Today, Elfie was moving around a lot. While the kids are sad he is leaving until next year, they are jumping out of their skin that Santa arrives tonight!

First, he appeared to be making a call on his candy cane phone. 
And tethering it to our land line.

Then he jumped in the blender. Candy cane Elf shake, anyone?

And lastly, he rested on the piano with a few pictures 
and ceramic friends to say good bye.

He did leave some parting gifts for the little ones. 

See you in 11 months Elfie!

Just hanging around and laughing when we discovered Elfie today! And below him we found wrapping bubbles that the kids love to pop. He must have gotten into the closet where the gifts are and taken out the packing! 

He also left some jokes that left the kids in stitches for a few days. Nonstop hilarity!

Acrobatic Elfie

The little red guy somehow got up to some Yoga in the middle of the night. A candy cane had been looped through the handles as well, but I think it managed to find its way into my daughter's hands. I am hoping Elfie wasn't touched. He already got captured by a bad toy last time the kids weren't kind to each other.