Saturday, December 6, 2008
Things People Say
We have nine month old triplets, two boys and a girl. People can’t seem to help but make comments when you are pregnant. However, when people found out I was carrying triplets, they immediately went into a whole other category of dumb sayings. I have to believe that most people have good intentions, and basically did not stop to think before opening their mouths. But there were definitely those who just could not hide their curiosity. Many people are very kind and we get a lot of, “Awwww, how cute!”, “Congratulations!”, “Good luck”, and “God bless you”. I like to think I have a sense of humor, though not everyone has thought my responses are funny. I just had to amuse myself after awhile. The remarks don’t stop now that the babies are here.
Comments before the babies were born:
People: Triplets? Holy cow! (Or some other interesting expletive) Did you know?
Me: Uh, yes. How could I not?
People: Oh my God, triplets? Did you take drugs?
Me: I didn’t inhale if that’s what you’re asking.
People: Wow, triplets. Did you have help?
Me: Yes, my husband.
People: Triplets? How did that happen?
Me: Uh, there was practically a whole class on it in 10th grade. Didn’t you pay attention?
People: Wow, you will have your hands full. How do you do it?
Me: Oh, just feed them brandy each night so we can sleep. (What the #$%^& do you think I am going to do?)
People: Triplets, heh. Better you than me.
Me: Most definitely.
People: Triplets? Did you take fertility drugs?
Me: Do you have children?
Me: Soooo, what position were you in when you conceived?
Alternate response – Me: Did you have an orgasm when you conceived?
(The stunned look on their faces satisfied my snark at the time.)
Comments since the babies were born:
People: Are they identical?
Me: No. We have two boys and a girl.
People: But are they identical?
Me: Yes, yes they are.
Man: How can you look so happy with 3? (He had 3 dogs)
Me: You look happy with yours.
Man: Well I can lock mine in the yard.
Woman: Are there really three? (When all three are in plain view)
Me: (Looking at them in disbelief) Then, “No.”
Woman: Oh, whew! Three would be a lot!
Man in park: Whoa! That’s a wide load!
Me (pushing triple wide stroller, and smiling to indicate attempt at humor): Are you calling me fat?
** This man would not look at me the next time he passed me on the loop around the park.
My husband sometimes says I am being too snarky, but he laughs anyway. I can’t help it. Or, I don't want to help it. I just get tired of people staring at my babies. I suppose it comes with the territory. But if I hear, "You sure have your hands full!", one more time . . .