Thursday, December 9, 2010

The Secret to Weight Loss – Week #1


 I discovered the secret to weight loss. Pain. No, not the kind of emotional pain that  makes  you forget to eat. Much more superficial than that. Boot camp pain. Day one was pretty  good. I joked with the instructor how it was easier than learning new tricks in ice skating.  He said, “I’m going to make you eat those words!” I smiled, but secretly wondered if he  would. I had no idea that not only would I eat my words, but that would be the last thing I  ate.

I was excited to finally focus on my fitness, and high on endorphins, the day sailed by. I  knew 5:30am tomorrow would come with a whole new appreciation for pain. Only, tomorrow came that night. My husband and I went to dinner (low cal entrée choice of course), and a movie. I felt relaxed, happy and ready to hit the gym again. Then, as the credits rolled, I stood up from my seat, correction, I tried to stand up from my seat. My husband could barely contain his chuckles at my obvious discomfort. I told him to can it, and he said that was the best he could do.

The other five women in my class had regaled me with stories of trying to sit on the toilet after their first day. No problem. I have strong ice skater legs, right? Wrong. Hamstrings are strong. Quads? Holy crap did they take a beating.

Day two had me drifting in and out of sleep around 4am, anticipating my 5:30am class. With the alarm I realized that for three years, we have been groaning about our early bird triplets. Yet I was voluntarily up before they uttered their first, “Mommy, come get me!” of the day.

When I arrived, the other instructor was there (they switch off days) and I said, “I got run over by a truck name Aaron yesterday”. She replied, “Today you’ll get run over by a small car.” Huh. That chick was no small car. Day two proved to be far more painful. Stopping at the market on my way home, I grimaced realizing I needed to buy milk – in gallon containers. Weren’t 10-pound weights enough? Nope. The kids need their calcium Momma.

My only muscles that didn’t hurt were the ones for smiling. The same muscles I would chew food with – if I could lift a fork to my mouth. See? Instant weight loss. All I could do at this point was smile. I smiled when I hoisted the milk into my cart. I smiled when the coffee gal said, “Have a great day!” I smiled at the check out when bag girl asked if I needed assistance to the car. Oh God yes, do I. But I smiled and said. “No, thank you”. I even smiled as I attempted to gracefully step up into my SUV without drawing any attention to myself. The grunting didn’t help. I smiled as I watched my children drink their nutrition. I weakly wobbled my coffee cup to my mouth and sipped, not gracefully. I felt pain throughout my whole being. If my pain plan works, that will eventually turn into, “Wow! You have triplets? You look amazing!” And I smiled.

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