Thursday, December 24, 2015

Almost There

Only one more night after tonight, and Elfie will be on his way back to Santa's home at the North Pole. Another year that my children believe, another year I almost forget, every. single. night. to move the damn elf. But it really is worth it. There have been just a hint of questions about how Christmas works. Mostly a slight curiosity. In an instant it vanishes when the subject changes to what they want from Santa. But I wonder. When will they know? Will they let on? Will they spoil it for the ones in our home who still believe? Are we almost there? I hope not.

While we haven't placed formal wagers, my money is on my daughter to spill it, just to torture they other two. In an Ally McBeal style moment of thought, I envisioned her sobbing and devastated because she had 'ruined' Christmas for everyone. Indeed, if she did spill the beans, she would not have done it to eliminate Santa, only to torture her brothers. She unwittingly however, does things to torture them that backfire, and this would be the granddaddy of them. Thus, late at night, after my husband has obligingly cut paper and wrapped gifts (because I have been injured and spent too much time at the ER from self-inflicted sharp object accidents) I find myself in the garage peeling packing labels off boxes. This is where I imagine my daughter discovering the sender of said boxes and sharing her discovery with her brothers.

When I was a child, we posted our wish lists on the refrigerator. My brother and I still are convinced that we never got a single thing from those labored over lists. Maybe so, maybe not. I do know that my mother believes it's what the giver wants to give, not what the recipient wants. I suppose that's one way to look at it. My husband and I have not been particularly creative or overly romantic/demonstrative over the years with our holiday gifts. It's less important to us than the rest of the year. I used to really like the element of surprising him, but I'd rather he really enjoy what he gets, or just skip gifts altogether. So we ask each other. The kids are delighted when he and I open the gifts and it's good for them to see us exchange an item of affection. This is where I think Santa for my kids is exciting. Everything is still new to them at seven years old. Everything is exciting and full of wonder. While we don't go overboard with their gifts. Just enough for them to enjoy that fast fading bastion of childhood beliefs in something mystical, fun and exciting. I don't know when that will change, but every passing year brings us closer to it. Almost there. But not just yet.

For as long as they believe, I will.


  1. Merry Christmas my friend! And bless you for maintaining your kid's belief in magic. The details may change but I believe there indeed is magic in the world, even if it's wrapped around some harsh reality. I too hope they continue to see the magic for as long as possible.....they can save the reality part for later. It's beautiful to live through their eyes. You're a wonderful mother. Thank you for sharing.